the secretary has a drug problem. saddled with a delinquent child she copes with her awful life by drinking and taking oxy. on her second dui, she somehow dodged serious punishment by joining AA. a random drug screen was failed after another night of vodka soaked misery forces her back into the program. she quits drinking cold turkey only to replace it with another vice: smoking. at least this way she won’t drunkenly kill someone with her rusting volvo. she smokes a ridiculous amount, her desk steeped in old nicotine smell, the entire area of the office looks…. yellow. she coughs, every 5 seconds. you could keep time by her expectorations. she must produce a pint of phlegm per day. i hope she dies soon.